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AliceKyon recounts the story:
– Once upon a time, there was this gyon who was so lazy, she– *snores soundly*
– That’s her!
– It’s 8 in the morning. And she just woke up. Anyway, let me continue. She was so lazy, she delegated the White Bunny to fold the blankets after her.
– White Bunny? I’m a White Bunny too!!! Do I have to fold the blankets too?!?
– Yes, yes you do, but only your own blankets. *headpats Mary*
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– Ride pony!
– “Ride pony”? *turns to Lav* What does she mean!!? Does she wanna–
– Zzzzz…..
Mary is more than autonomous. She just hugs Applejack to sleep, no riding. It’s too small.
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– Ăng bánh khôm bạng?
– Có có có có có!!!
*liếm láp*
*húp má KyonKyon chùm chụp*
– *giơ bánh butterscotch cinnamon pie* Tôi bảo bánh này cơ mà.
– Bánh đấy cũm đc. Đưa đây! À, ăn không?
– Có…
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Hồi tiểu học, Lav hay nói chuyện với một bạn gái, sau quen thân hơn…
– Cậu… cậu muốn đội mũ tớ á?
Kyo quạ con gật liên hồi.
Tự dưng Lav thấy có gì đó bập bùng trong tim. Chưa ai khen Lav đội mũ bao giờ cả, ngoại trừ mẹ ra.
– Oke… nhớ trả lại nhé!
– Quó!
Kyoko đội chiếc mũ lưỡi trai màu xanh biển lên. Chà… trông cũng hợp đấy chứ?
– Lav còn mũ nữa không?
– Kyoko định mang về à?
– Không… Kyo mua.
– Mua á… Cái này chỉ là hàng tặng thôi.
– Ồ… 🙁
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Q&A!
Q: How did this Okuu lose her Yatagarasu eye?
A: One day, Ran bought too many sweet potatoes on a sale, so Okuu had to eat a ton of roast potatoes. It gave her so much gas she farted out the eye.
Or, you could believe the story that Okuu insists on telling: that she puked it out one snowy beer night with Yukari. Of course, everyone prefers the myth. So much that it may become a youkai one day.
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Luotes:
– I love domming. ♡ By domming, I mean domestic.
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– I love candy!
– Me too, Mary. Lav is my candy. *wink*
– [Omg… in front of the child!??] //><//
– Omg… cannibalism? o.o
– I just kiss her. And lick her.
– You don’t bite into candy?
– No, hun. You’re gonna break your teeth.
– But what about toffee? And gummies?
– Those you can chew. But Mama Lav here… she’s a tough one.
– [Aww!!!] Kyon is a tough one, too.
– If adults are tough ones… are we soft?
– No, honey. You’re tough too! But let’s not get this candy analogy too far. Humans are not candy.
– Oh. Boo…
– But there is an inherent sweetn– No, no, what was I saying?! I’m silly, sorry.
– It’s alright. No biting. No biting humans.
– Yes, yes, no biting humans, whether they’re corporeal or not. You might break your teeth. *gets overly specific as usual* Of course, in front of bad guys, you can bite them like a Spartan, like this! Nom nom nom nom nom…
Mama Kyon continues her demonstration a little more, but Mary has already skipped away.
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– I must assume?
– No, not at all, Mary. Today’s just the day to celebrate your existing and past assumptions.
– Hmm… I assume that I don’t have any!
– That’s quite a bold one. *head pats*
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A war is on the horizon.
The chief kid says:
– Mary belongs with the kids!
– Maryyyyy!!!
Kyoko despairs as Rikko grabs Mary’s hand. She has been hanging out with Mary for too long at once.
Meanwhile, Mary is confused, not knowing who to follow.
– Rikko-nee…
– Kid! Maybe, we can solve this.
– How? Do tell, Mama.
Kyoko looks down on the ground as she kneels, thinking: “What eminence. さすが my daughter.”
– I think… we can take turns to go play. And with Mama Lav too, or else she’s gonna be something like a genie.
Lav comes out when called. She was busy in the kitchen.
– Did Kyon call me?
五 *kids in unison* No!!!!!
– But actually, we could really use your help, Mama.
Rikko drags Lav over for a private chat.
– The problem is, Mama Kyon is taking too much resources for play time, while the kids are not satiated. I can’t play with all of them just by myself, you see.
– What about group play?
– It’s very mind-intensive. And besides, most of the brainpower is being spent on Mama Kyon and Mary! Such lavishness.
The teenage general shakes her head.
– Well, so me and Kyon could take turns taking you kids outside.
– That’s right.
– And group play is a must. How else are we gonna use the cards upstairs? I mean, the family dynamic.
– That’s true. *scrubs chin* Not many people have this privilege. That’s why we’re a family.
– *trying to connect the dots* Yep, right, right. So be it. Wanna go play with me?
– Yeah! Let me bring Kokko along. And JunJun. And Stasera. And Mary too… if you don’t mind.
– Sure! So… everyone except Mama Kyon?
– Yeah. She should be in Limbo for not finishing her work.
– Tch tch tch! Rikko, you can be so mean sometimes. Let’s let her rest for a bit.
– Agreed!
So we go out to play together… even Kyoko.
– She joins anyway.
– Of course! But she’s gonna let us talk a whole lot.
Kyoko nods calmly. Her head is spinning right now.
1750
Rikko here! (rik!) Talking about shiny GPU usage, Mama Kyon just invented a golden octahedron frozen tiramisu cone. It’s just the usual cone but it’s covered in gold. She made it for me first, so I ate it in one bite cause it’s so small. It’s just on a toothpick.
– Do you not have enough gold?
– I do, but I was afraid that y’all’ll have bad teeth this summer due to all the sweets and fizzy drinks.
– That’s fair… Wait! We could cut back on the fizzy drinks, Mama! Don’t let us have less ice cream!!
– For *some* reason, you decided that ice cream was worth the yielding?
– Of course! Ice cream is love, ice cream is life. *determined*
– What about gelato?
– Eh! It’s… something else.
– Like what? Better?
– Eh… Not better, but I mean, American ice cream has its flair… or at least, custard-based icy.
– I see, I totally get it. But that 2-ingredient ice cream though…
– So gud!!
– Yeah, it’s so good, but also, it’s not that healthy, child…
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Someone mistook 爪 for 妻. Kyom grasped the opportunity with both hands.
She immediately dons a white fedora and turns off the lights, leaving a single small, white spotlight.
– I’m going to CLAW you out with my WIFE!
Here’s when Lav (me) comes in, menacing. I raise both hands, nails covered in glitter and little star- and heart-shaped trinkets.
– Hmph!
I sneer at the poor victim while Kyon endorses me.
– She’s got really long, sharp nails!
I turn to Kyon, adding:
– I’m gonna give them absurd levels of infection. These glitters? *blows kiss* They’re from Temu!
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The dentist sanded down Kyon’s favorite tooth. She feels the piercing pain as she bites into a crunchy raven-beak peach.
– Owww!! I’ve been domesticated!!!
– Kyoko, that’s not your fang. Your fang is right next to it. See? *touched Kyoko’s fang*
– Oh… oh.
– Try biting with the other side.
– Okay. Hey, it works!
Little did they know… it was actually Kyon’s fang.
Now Kyon knows.
– Aw damn.
Now Kyon is intentionally biting a few times on the lost sharp tooth, in tribute to its beautiful existence.
Kyon stands on the stage, as the crowd watches on. She was the tooth’s best friend.
– Did you know? My biggest daughter, Rikko, plays the funeral trumpet. She’s a pro at this already. And my daughter Mary plays the drum. JunJun the orange one plays the triangle. How do I know this?
She points to the back where the band is playing.
– They are working hard over there. Shoutout to my kids and their family.
She pauses for a little bit. Is she getting… emotional?
– I wish… I could assign something for my baby too. But her hands are too smol. So are her lungs. And besides, she doesn’t really like funerals! It brings her mood down cause she’s just been born.
*wipes nonexistent tears*
Ran plays the funeral tambourine, and Stasera just sits there, waiting for the keyboard’s turn. Reimu doesn’t play anything, she wanted to be the bass man, but there’s no bass in a funeral.
In the front row, Lav listens to every word, eyes glued onto Kyoko.
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Kyon opens the banana ice cream packet. Ooh. So perfect. Except…
– Ohhh. Kids picked up another new slang. Wplace, you bastard.
Kyoko carefully nibbles her ice cream with her newly done teeth while Mary and Rikko exchange “sybau”s behind her like a new whistle language. Or car horns.
Kyon decides to google what it means, and after the kids learned its meaning:
= Oh. *disappointed*
– I mean, I get it. It sounds like “bau bau”, so maybe you can use that instead.
– But Momy!
Mary frowns, pouting.
– It doesn’t sounds the same!
– Yeah! That sysy thing, like sissyphus! Missisippi!!
– I mean, you can say it. Just… not in front of other people I guess.
= Yay!!!
– But it does feel a little less exciting.
– I know, right? That’s life, Mary.
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Maybe Lav is a little bit like a werewolf.
When night comes, or when I’m alone (not playing with children or other people), Lav sprouts from behind me:
– awooooo!!! *soft panting*
Always ready for play.
Heeding the call of a fellow werewolf, I, a shut-in werewolf, transform and join her on her shenanigans. Mostly licking. Sometimes we procreate.
“Werewife”…
– What do ya mean by “werewife”? I’m always your wife! 24/7!
– Yeah, I was just thinking how to call this form of yours… like, “mermaid”? “Wolfwife”?
– “Wanlav”. Like, “one love”.
– Ooh! Like how we say “Wankyon”.