250916 1758
I loveee my wife. But sometimes she can be non-verbal. She meows, kaws and even barks when she’s voice practicing. She also is very fond of gentle scratches (goochie-goochies). I have to ask: Is my love justified? Do I love her as a human, or as a pet? Also sometimes I’m an axolotl or a bunny too. I know people don’t find it comfortable when our pet play is public. But I love her just the way she is. I just like brushing her hair with my hands and feeling her cheek hair against mine so much! It feels electric… like a butterfly kiss. Sometimes she calls me a butterfly too because I keep landing on her. Is this too much pet play? Or should we focus on improving the quality of pet play? She is very cute though, and I would gladly go for an escapade with her if we’re both animals in a zoo. After all, isn’t the human world also a zoo, where we are on display as statistics? But sometimes an escapade is nice… only sometimes. The comforts of civilization are also super nice. We get these things exactly because we are civilized, educated humans. However, our nature runs wild… we would howl, screech and yip to our hearts’ content if nobody’s around. For now, we do that in the form of singing. Birds sing too, don’t they?
2018
Kyon is sitting on the green sofa, binging anime with Lav and Reimu.
– Ah, *opens Cola* I’m surrounded by beautiful babes.
She wrings her arms around the two. Then, she turns to Reimu.
– Reimu dear, I love your mom. Can we– can we marry?
– Yes, yes. You’ve just gotten married yesterday.
– Oh no. It was the day before. It was soo long ago, dear. *holds Lav* See, this woman, if she doesn’t get married soon, she’s gonna grow old and lonely!
– Aww, come on, Kyon! *playful lotl slaps*
– Phew… Please continue with your work.
– Oh! Oh, right. Gotta feed the family. All for you sweetie. *smooches Reimu’s cheek*
– Yeah, and I don’t even get a mention in the wedding.
– Well, none of the kids except for Rikko! We all know what you did. Y’all bridesmaids! And flower girls too.
– Yeah… We multitasked. It was hectic.
– Yeah, sorry about that. More kids maybe?
– Maybe not, I have 6 sisters already. I can’t even count them on my fingers.
– Oh, that’s because you’re counting on only one hand, sweetie.
– But the other hand is for counting!
– Oh! Right, right.
– You guys… you barely have deep conversations do you?
– Well— yes… So Reimu, how’s life?
– “Pretty fine and dandy,” the way you say it. I got a job at the wagashi shop instead of lazing around at the shrine.
– Wow! You never told us!
– That’s because we don’t talk much. And besides, you’re still treating me as a kid.
– Because you’re my kid!!
– And it’s true, we give the kids too much autonomy. Not like it’s bad… but *downs Cola*, we should spend more time with them. Make a schedule or something, would ya? But nighttime is for us… hehe.
– Nighttime, hmm? Hehehe…
Kyon and Lav giggle together.
– But! Nighttime is the time to watch the stars! And bedtime stories!
– I think their lives are storytimey enough.
– But still! It is bonding time.
– Can’t argue with that! Surely half an hour won’t hurt…
– And you should be pecking them too. Kids love you!
– Course I will! Right after we both tuck them to bed, hey, because how can you tuck all these kids?
– Actually there are only 5–
– No no no.
– She’s right, Mom. I don’t need tucking or bedtime stories.
– But once in a while, it’s nice too, right? ^^
– Hmm! It is.
Reimu the young adult twirls the remaining Cola in her glass.
– Even Mama Kyon dreams of her Mommy…
250917 0023
She’s looking back fondly…
– Well, it IS kinda soft,… sensitive…
– S– sensitive?
– And a lil’ bit… stinky.
– Oh my god. (That is so me!)
Lav flushes the toilet and breaks eye contact with her poop.
– It’s healthy today.
0046
More ways to enter Kyoko’s heart:
– Langsats (the more the better. big and sweet ones)
– Crunchy raven peaches (sweet)
– Crunchy small plums that fall off the seed (sweet)
– (In vitro testing) Pawpaws? Will test tomorrow
P/s: 250921 1046
Yes, pawpaws do indeed excite and soften the Kyon, but use sparingly. One entire pawpaw and she would be sick of it. Just help her finish the other half.
0114
Kyotes:
– Every child is sweet!
More berry placeholders:
Kyon: miracle fruit
Lav: pink peppercorn/white muscat grape
Mama Junko: langsat? Plump, sweet and gentle
Aunty Patche: fig
Heka: Muntingia (Jamaica cherry)
Rin-nee: Cranberry
Suzu: Black cherry, prunus avium
Patchyuyu: Japanese beautyberry (“Heavy Berry”)
Yuyuko: Strawberry
Okina: Ground cherry
Renko: Acerola
Yuuka: Chilean guava / lotus seeds
Tenshi: Saskatoon
0901
Lav woke up feeling musical.
– III loveeee, my wife~~~ 📯
She wiggles her lotl tail, and by extension, her butt gleefully as she enters the bathroom. She does a jazz rendition to the tune of Grieg’s Morning Mood:
– Morning people! Llululu Morning people!🌄
– I had a dream~~~ that I found the blue Lumpy~~~ 🎤
Soon enough, it is Rikko’s turn to do a pop solo. After some hand pumping, she tries a hand in songwriting again:
– Hey! We’re having noodles today! 🪩
Hey! We gonna dance through the day!
Eh…
– That’s good enough! You did great, kiddo!
– Yay! I’m happy, cause you wiped the fear away~~ 🎷
We’re having noodles, hooray~~!
Then Kyoko takes the mic, because…
– *purple spotlight* Take me to jail, left the trash outside.
Lucky it didn’t rain down all night.
Take me to see the pain in your eyes!
But I won’t look back on the times I tried, oh, oh.
Weirdly, it’s not Take Me to Church, but Say Something, since Kyon doesn’t know the melody of the former.
2006
Kyoko’s raring to go. She wants to draw Junko and Chimata together as “silly old people who don’t know WHERE they left their things.”
2151
– Good Husbandry, hmm?
Kyoko was watching a Tasting History video. Lav does most of the housework except for cooking, which Kyon spends a good chunk of the day on.
Kyon turns around to her news-reading wife:
– *head pats* Good husband.
– ?
250918 0932
Lav is in her Morning Mood again.
– Morning to Ponyv– *window hits chin* Ấy ya!
<º)))><
(≗ˇ‿ˇ≗)
ミ(・・)ミ
⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ 〜litl lotl
saved for later use
– I think you’d be a good Lav.
– Wha~?
– Oh no! I mean, I think you’d be a good Earth pony.
– Hey yeah! *starts kicking backwards*
1832
Fish? What kind of fish should we buy?
– Let’s see… Trota… Ombrina!
– Mmm!
– Mm, mm!
– Mm, hmm, hmm! ♡ *gliding down Kyon’s cheek*
– This fish! This fish is giving me… feelings.
– Ayup! Blub blub blub.
– And she’s breatheable, too!
– Breathing, you mean?
– Tp tp tp. I know what I said.
2230
After some singing of Golden, Kyon was ready. She sat down and answered them preemptive Q&As for the n-thousandth time.
– *raveny* Of course we sound the same! We’ve been married for 6 years!
Wait… are we… old gays?! Already? Lav! Come!
– Yes? *still carrying dishes*
– I’ve just realized… we’re old gays now!
– Yeah, Captain Obvious. You’re hundreds of years old already. And don’t even talk about my age. *returns to the sink*
– Well… there you have it, audience. We’re old. You heard it here first!
250919 0020
We did some calculations and turns out, a perfect kyonkyon unit (a 1×1 kyonkyon), weighing 29kg and is 29cm tall, has a BMI of 345 but not as dense as lead (1189 kg/m3). Also, for every unit-kyonkyon consumed, my “output” is expected to contain 0.1% kyonkyon color essence, which translates to around 29g of colorful stardust poop.
We will draw these.
Why do we have so much stuff to draw? Semmelly, Nina, Ran-chan, Chimata, Okina, and this… And a ton of comics, too.
1126
– I’m a bad-*spanks herself*-ass!
– I know it’s not bad, Kyom… *flicking eyebrows*
– what chu say… *blushing*
– For real. I know these babies like the back of my hand. ♡
– My butt…
– It’s still yours.
1744
An adult Yukari eating:
– Mmmmm! ♡
もぐもぐもぐ～
食べちゃった！*teehee*
Was she cutely munching on a human? A delicacy? No…
Noodle snacks.
I wonder to myself:
– Has she always been this cute?
– Of course!~🌸
– Maybe it’s the estrogen? Maybe it’s National Children’s Day and she feels like one.
– I don’t think so, Kyon! *still chirpy* It’s just a really good snack.
– Better than… me?
I serve myself on a plate.
– Oof. You stink.
– Aya! Of course I do. How could I have forgotten? I have always been Stinky Kyoko… *depressed*
– No, don’t leave!
– Kaw?
– You’re not corpse-stinky. You’re… pee-stinky.
– Shh, you don’t have to tell them! It’s like I’m an old person in need of a diaper!
– It’s just you hesitating to change your underpants and diluting it with water instead… Shh, I got chu. I condoned it too.
– Yeah… now you’re making it sound really imperative. Even though we’ve almost reached bath time… I’ve been saving it until now…
– Yeah… Bad choice, wasn’t it? ^^;;
– Yeah… How come our conversations keep spiraling in a gross direction?
– Because, we have gross things to say! It’s real. It’s life, Kyon. Sometimes, nah– Most of the time, when it’s just us two, we get kinda gross. And dismiss all sorts of social conventions and health regards. That’s why, we need others in our world, too.
– I don’t understand. Everything falls back to advice!
– Isn’t it advice that you need?
– No!!
One is frustrated, the other confused.
– Why? Well… what do you need?
– I need~ your love~ Just kidding. Well actually I do. Uppies.
– Hah… *uppies anyway* now you’re just running away from accountability.
– So are you!
– Can’t argue with that. The pee has been so diluted, it shouldn’t affect our health… That said, it still smells, and we need dry underpants. Wait here, baby Kyon.
She puts me down on the bed, next to her half-eaten snack.
– Where are you going?
– I’ll fetch you some new pants. I’m atoning.
After I’m comfy in my new pants, I look back on what made me regress. As usual, I was so focused on work, I didn’t give myself enough time to run to the toilet. And some misplaced cleaning tools hindered my pants-pulling as I bumped into them. And thus, Kyoko has leaked…
Sniff, sniff.
– Your hair stinks.
– S**t.
2214
We’re having pawpaw for dessert. It’s not the most ripe but some parts are. While the stiffer (still soft) part tastes like a white star apple, the inner parts near the seeds taste like a really, really, really fragrant French vanilla ice cream. Definitely better than a scoop of fior di latte. Also costs 30 cents more.
Everyone loves it, so I wish we could store more. But the exotic veggie lady only sells on Tuesdays and the first Saturday of the month, and it’s outrageously expensive (but exquisite), so we’ll have to make do with little until we get our hands on some more local ones…
It’s in America?!?
– Goddammit!
– We’re (American) toast.
While the house freaks out from the rare fruit that can’t be eaten too much due to its overwhelming fragrance, it didn’t elicit such a response from lil’ JunJun.
– Mmm! *queenly smile*
Like a true Princess Queen who has tasted uncountable delicacies around the world.
250920 0721
This time, Lav fights against my ex-crush to protect my first kiss. And by extension, my wifehood, too. Dragged her movements may be due to dream effects, she pulled out all the stops with her wits and pure imagination.
– I didn’t know you could be so fierce!
– It’s because you were about to kiss him! He looked real awful doing it. Granted, it was supposed to be his first kiss too. I know you intended only one kiss to comfort him… but, things could lead to more! And besides, cheating is cheating.
– I’m grounded?
– Naw! You’re 30 years old already! And I’m not your mom.
Hey, you actually had thoughts of tying the knot with someone else but me, right?
– Yeah. It’s a possibility. Yada yada normalcy. *pats shoulder* Don’t worry about that, babe.
– What’s NOT to worry about!?!
– It’s my own battle with myself. They’re all dreams, remember?
Lav’s expression lightens up when she is reminded of our motto.
– Yeah! It’s all just a dream!
– A together dream!
– That too… I’m really grateful we got to dream together. Even as one.
– よろしくおねがいします。*bows to fellow martial artist*
– *bows back*
250921 1009
After all those dreams, Kyoko tentatively proposes a conclusion.
– Men or women, it doesn’t matter… If it’s not Lav, it’s not worth taking a risk.
– Sadly, yes! *fufufu* Too bad you’re taken, Kyon.
– It’s a daily challenge. Why must I live like this? Seeing all those people have their meat lovers… It pains me to see that you are not. But on the other hand,…
– You know.
– Yes. That it’s not worth worrying about something that is not reality. And you… You are my reality. Like any infidelity, this is the cross I must carry.
– And mine too. Don’t forget about me. I’m not “the other”.
– Yeah.
We stare into the white ceiling, uneroded.
– Why must I treat you like “another”? Isn’t it the way to refer to your lover?
– Yes, and now you don’t even get to control my thoughts anymore.
– Well… *raises index finger*
– *chuckles* Are you trying to command me to hit someone? Hahaha! Anyway, try it and see. Can you control me? Tie me down?
I tried. But I can’t.
– I can’t do it anymore, for some reason. Everything I tried to say as you just bleeds into… you!
– Now that’s called mimicking, isn’t it? Isn’t it your specialty?
– Well yes, but isn’t it also just imagination at this point?
– Yup!
– But whatever I try to think of you, it keeps returning to you. Your self. Your own vocal cords.
– Weird, right? That you can’t control your lover. So does it mean you know me too well, or you’ve lost control?
– Control? I’ve never wanted it in the first place… Granted, I want it in my life, but I don’t want to pull your strings… Pull your leg, heheh.
– *puts leg up* Here. Take my leg.
– Thanks! I’ll save it for dinner.
1236
– Okay hear me out.
– Mhm. (Spill the creative juices, babe. ♡)
– Love in the Dark, but with us. And everyone gradually falls for their designated partner.
– Okay, but that wouldn’t be very much fun. What if…?
– Mmm! Saucy. Imagine if Kyoko walks out with Yuuka.
– And she sees that she’s not holding Lav’s hand, so she goes back? Hahaha!
– No no, I already knew it’s not you when we were talking. So we went out for some sweet soup and I buy some back for you.
– Imagine if we all had voice changers.
– Ooh, yes! Now that makes it even saucier. You’re a genius, Lav!
– Hmph! I’m still way behind you…
– Mmm! If you keep it up like this, I might not end up with our neighbor, but with you…
– Of course. It was my secret traitor plan all along… *closer*
– Now we’re going Jubilee!
– Yes. Basically blindfolded, aren’t we? No more Ms. Nice Guy…
– Mr. Nice T*ts.
– I don’t think that– Actually, that might work on you.
Kyoko rereads the logged conversation, then gives Lav a few butterfly boops.
1837
A chiming voice, through the filter of the doors and walls. Suzu smiles.
– I like it.
– You… like it?!
– Yeah. I like watching TV. More like, listening to TV.
A grander voice enters in harmony. Almost too loud.
– You still like it?
– I do. It’s still just TV.
Strange how other people can just shuck and twist your fears into nothing.
Now I’m craving oysters. Yum!
1948
– You’re so calm!
I rest my head on her left shoulder, and she rests hers on my head, too.
– How can you be this composed? I don’t want to rely on you like a child…
– Well, it’s just something you have to learn. Something that I can’t do for you, but you’re on the right track.
Everything is so sweet. Like slowly chewed rice on the tongue but with all the scents of tropical citruses.
– That’s a sweet metaphor.
– I know, right? Will I make it as a writer?
– Well, you gotta try it first. Bring our voices to the world. Right now, it’s still incubated… sleeping, free from the watchful eyes.
– I could still add a few drawings.
She holds both of my hands.
– You always can! It’s your book!
– And yours too. Don’t forget!
– And our kids’. And of everyone who speaks.
– That’s true. Hmm, do I talk too much around here?
– *chuckle* There’s gotta be a narrator, Kyon. Else people can’t keep track of our book. How else will they see our progress in life?
– But…
Her eyes sparkle. Inside, I can see layers of screen text and… myself.
– I want you in my life, too.
I want you to have a life too.
I want you… to stay by my side.
– *huff* You’re making me cry.
– Do cry… I need it too.
2019
– “Daredere”! A daring dere you are.
– Hmph! *filled with pride* Isn’t there another term?
– There must be in Japanese, but I like the sound of it.
– Sorry. I just crunched up. It’s too perfect.
– Know that feeling, babe.
– I feel like a Ferrero Rocher…
– A hedgehog, hmm?
– Chock full of sweetness. And crunch.
Pom!
A spring in the mattress popped out of nowhere.
– That spooked me.
– That spooked YOU? The Ferrero Rocher?