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I looked back at my old logs, and I cursed myself for being such an idiot.
But then again, those thoughts helped build who we are. Not every thought has to be correct. Everything may be useful in showing us who we are, but that is due to our responses to them, not the existence itself. Sometimes, I have to relearn how products of my mind can be egodystonic, or at least, fluid.
I feel like shooting myself at the foot whenever I accidentally pray or believe in luck again. Although, they are merely everyday things known as “reflexes”. Even if you can’t get rid of them – since they are rooted in the human construct that you were raised within, at least they can coexist with you. They have no mouths, unlike self-centered loudmouths with a sorry excuse of a brain, so at least thoughts are inherently morally good.
Am I dissociating from my own thoughts? Heck… it is how we sculpt who we are.
People disregard all the goodness they’ve learnt, all the lawfulness and morality they were taught in order to do evil. Why be so serious about a bunch of thoughts that were never your own?
At least, we did one good thing.
We wrote down who we were.
Therefore, we can look back on it like a portable archive, in case we forget why we are here, and what we wanted to do.
In actuality, we don’t concern ourselves with our old dreams.
We just nod at all the coincidences.
You wanted to make someone real? You did.
You wanted to fly far away? You did.
You wished to create? You are struggling to get by, but you did.
